Sunday, January 21, 2007

Sexually Satisfied?

"I recently heard about a couple in their eighties who were in counseling for sexual issues. It's a true story!!
He was complaining that his wife wasn't giving him the type of sex he enjoyed.
Sex is such an important part of a relationship between couples. It is something that needs to be kept exciting and satisfying for both partners.
Without sex and having fun in bed, your relationship becomes mundane and business-like.
Sex is the only unique feature of couples designed to bring pleasure and intimacy for a lifetime.

An older women from the northeast. Who was in her sixties and complained that her mate had erectile dysfunction and wasn't meeting her sexual needs. When she confronted him about the problem and asked him to get medical treatment that would have easily cured the problem, his response was, I'm O.K., I'm happy just like we are.... She was devastated.

Obviously her mate was an insensitive and selfish man. I guess he thought his feelings were the only ones that were important.
I like what Dr. Phil says regarding sex. He says, If you don't think sex is important, just ask the person who isn't getting any or not happy and has to use something (pill-form or tools to enjoy sexual pleasure).

The typical scenario of sexual frustration is that of a man who wants more sex than his mate wants to give him.
Women need to understand that their male mates normally need more sex than they do!!
Just as they want their mate to meet their needs in a sacrificial and sensitive manner, they need to do the same for their man in the area of sex.
Generally speaking, men have the need for sex and women have the gift of sex. They need to give that gift generously !!
It's essential if you want to have a good and lasting relationship with this person you are sexual with and want to be with for more then, a few weeks or months.
Because if you don't have this base between the two of you then...
Sooner or later one of you will leave or cheat on the other, this is bad for both sides if one mate wish's they had someone that made them feel alive sexually.
If this is the case with you and your partner, then it's better to break it off...Now!!
Why drag it out in hopes.. Maybe things will get better if you just wait around a bit longer, in hopes your mate will figure out your not happy.
Or if your in a new relationship under six months or so, and things still aren't getting your motor purring in this area without a pill or tool or you fake it pretending you enjoy their company, then they (your partner) probley don't know and think everything is fine between the two of you.
News flash!!
This is as good as it will ever get between the you of two...Sorry!
Why or how come you ask?
Because in the beginning of a new relationship your sexual fires are the hottest, it's all new with this partner. You both should be having sparks running thru your bodies with just a kiss or thoughts of your partner just being close with you.
If you don't have this...Then it's time to be honest with yourself and your partner, before it's to late and you both end up being in a loveless relationship and bitter.
Because it you, don't have that sexually fire with this person and you have not had a problem with you past partners in the sexual dept. And have been to your doctor (if this is the case then it's no ones fault) but it you M.D. says it's in your head not a medical problem...
So bottom line...If you're truely not happy and avoid sex with your mate and they are the ones always asking, wake-up your missing out on one of life's great pleasures...Life is to short to be sexually un-happy for both of you !!
Men & women do experience a decrease in their level of testosterone as they grow older. This is the main reason for a decreased sex drive.
As a women grows older and lose the fear of pregnancy or if a women is trying to get pregant, she grow more comfortable expressing their sexuality, they often desire more sex, which is good for their mates.

Just as a young man wants his partner to be energetic and enthusiastic regarding his sexual needs, the same holds true as a couple ages.
This is what makes a good relationship when both partners care enough about each other to sacrificially serve each other and meet each others needs.
If this is not the case for you or your mate, and one of you is pretending to enjoying sexual moments with each other. Or if one of you has to (fakes it) or has have to use other means to do the act of making love to hide your real feelings from your partner, then you need to start asking yourself this question don't put it off!

Is your partner sexually satisfied?
Are you sexually satified?
Do you/both of you feel comfortable sharing with each other your needs and desires?
Are both of you willing to meet each others needs even if you don't understand them or share them and be honest about it with each out leaving nothing out on how you both feel and do what ever it takes to make your love-life have spark?
Are you or your partner willing to change if necessary and follow thru even if you don't like doing what they ask of you?
Are you both willing to be honest with yourself and each other?
If you have tryed one or all of the above or you can't be honest with your partner for one reason or another one, you don't see you two working out much longer. Then be honest with your partner or each other is the best way to go for both of you in the end.
Let go move on......
This is the only way both of you will ever be happy, give each other the gift of honesty don't put it off it will only hurt more if you put it off.
Both of you should be allowed to be able to find someone that makes each of you feel good sexually.
One of you is holding on in fear of hurting the other?
Your hurting them and yourself more by having this lie between the two of you, when we hide a problem like this it just makes more problems then everything only get worse.
Your robbing your partner & yourself of the chance to find someone that does make each of you happy, who has the same sexual pleasure connetion with them/you.
We need to honestly with our selfs and our partners, evaluate our attitudes toward sex -past/present/the rest of our live's .
The eighty-something year old couple, I spoke about in the beginning of this....Reminds us, this issue is going to be around for a while.
It's either going to bring us together or keep us apart. And ultimately it will either fulfill us or frustrate us.

Take this issue seriously and work to make sure sex is as important in your life as it should be."

6 comments:

Norma said...

You are certainly a tough one to read. I clicked over to see what you were doing since you woke up to the fact that you'd been used and wrote all those good reasons not to move in with a guy, then I read your nice Christmas post where you seem to understand what faith in Jesus is about, and now I'm browsing your recent blogs which all seem to be about sex. Get a grip. Is this to bring readers to your page from Google searches?

11181955 said...

I'm sorry if you may think I need to get a grip, because I seem to be writing you say alot about sex and such.

Well I am still looking into to me and my faith, but I am also looking at things that did or went wrong with my pass relationships with men.

Sorry But SEX!! is a bit part of most couples problems today and why they break-up, or cheat on one or the other.

All I am doing is looking in to the sub-part of my mind and life and even the web-net to find what I may need to do to understand things to make them better within me, and why I do the things I do?

Also learn to not feel guilty if I want to keep doing them.

Yes I have faith in God, And believe because of the courage he gave me, has helped me alot to get to this point.

But sometimes you have to also look within you to fix things or somethings will never change and you'll just keep repeating them.

I ordered this book yesterday off the Amazan-book club it's called :
(The Secert)

But waiting for my back-order to come up on the one I bought, so when it does get here I plan on reading it and sharing my thoughts and growth on this will my readers too!!

So just because I am blogging alot about sex things and...boohoo's

Only means at that time that was something I was trying to understand and deal with!!

Getting people to come to my blog anymore these days I could care less, as of now my blog has become more of a journal of my soul for me to come back and reflecked on to see where I have grown or fell.

Sorry if you feel I do sex post to get people to come to my sight, if I wanted that I would of tryed harder to make it porn like, that is not what I care about.

Just trying to find some peace with in me and don't care what others feel, as long as I like me...Hope this clears things up for you Norma

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